Learning to Live Respectfully in Mexico
Cultural Lessons from Nearly a Decade as an Immigrant
After 8½ years as a full-time immigrant in Mexico—and nearly five decades of traveling throughout the country—I’ve learned a lot about the cultural do’s and don’ts. Some lessons came the hard way, others through simple observation.
In this post, I want to share a few common faux pas I’ve seen (and sometimes made myself), along with practical ways to show respect and adapt more gracefully to life here.
Start with Respect, Not English
I have to admit—this is one of my biggest pet peeves among us gringos.
Too often, I see a foreigner speaking rapid-fire English to a local vendor who clearly doesn’t understand. When that fails, the next move is usually to repeat the same thing—only louder, as if volume equals comprehension.
It’s cringe-worthy and painful to witness. In those moments, I usually do one of two things: step in to translate and spare the vendor the discomfort/humiliation, or quietly offer an apology on behalf of my fellow foreigner.
The truth is, it’s not hard to learn a few respectful phrases in Spanish—especially something as simple as:
“No hablo mucho español, ¿hablas inglés?”
(I don’t speak much Spanish, do you speak English?)
And when in doubt, Google Translate is a lifesaver.
A little effort goes a long way in showing respect.
Overbargaining: Know When to Let It Go
Yes, bargaining is part of Mexican culture—but only in the right context. Not everything is negotiable, and not every situation calls for haggling.
I’ve cringed watching foreigners argue over 20 pesos. Really—20 pesos? That’s about a dollar. Does that dollar mean as much to you as it does to the artisan or vendor you're bargaining with?
I’ll admit, I’ve been guilty of this myself. Years ago, I thought haggling was just part of the fun. But I came to realize that pushing too hard—especially in already-affordable settings—can come across as disrespectful.
Bargain thoughtfully, and always with kindness.
Respecting the Volume of the Culture
One thing you notice after living in Mexico for a while: Mexicans are generally more soft-spoken and reserved than many of us from north of the border. There’s a cultural preference for calm, courteous interactions—especially in public.
That’s why it can be jarring (and rude) when gringos shout across a restaurant to get a friend’s attention, or talk loudly on their phones while walking down the street.
Yelling across the street? Snapping your fingers or shouting “José” (used generically because you don’t know his name) to get a waiter’s attention? These behaviors can easily come off as arrogant or disrespectful.
It’s important to remember—we’re guests in this country. Embracing the local tone (literally and figuratively) shows humility and respect.
Being a kind and respectful ambassador matters—not just for you, but for how locals view all of us.
Learning the Local Rhythm of Connection
When I first moved to San Miguel de Allende, I brought my U.S. Type-A habits with me. I’d walk into stores or banks, say “Hola,” and dive straight into business. I thought I was being polite.
What I didn’t realize was how deeply Mexican culture values personal connection over speed or efficiency. People were kind, but I’m sure they were thinking, “Poor gringo—he hasn’t learned yet.”
Eventually, I realized there's a rhythm here—almost a ritual—to greetings and farewells. These small moments of connection matter more than I imagined.
Slow down. Learn the common expressions. Join the rhythm.
I even made two short videos that can help:
Rethinking Time in Mexico
The Mexican approach to time is more relaxed than what many of us are used to.
Shortly after moving here, I hired a painter who said he was heading out for lunch and would be back soon. He never returned that day. The next morning, he showed up cheerful. When I asked what happened, he unapologetically said:
“I ran into José—we hadn’t seen each other in a while, so we went for a beer.”
That moment taught me a lot. Here, relationships and connection often take precedence over rigid schedules. It’s not irresponsibility—it’s a different value system.
If you’re new to Mexico, expect delays, or even no-shows. It can be frustrating, but over time I’ve learned to accept it with more grace.
It’s a slower rhythm—but a more human one.
Dressing with Cultural Awareness
One of the simplest ways to show respect in Mexico is by paying attention to how locals dress—and adjusting accordingly.
Styles vary across the country. I live in Guanajuato, one of the more conservative states, where people tend to dress modestly. A woman wearing something revealing in a local neighborhood might really stand out—and not in a good way.
Here in central Mexico, most men wear long pants year-round. So I do the same. But when I spend winters on the beaches of Oaxaca, it’s a different story: shorts, t-shirts, flip-flops—that’s the local norm. And that becomes my wardrobe, too.
Dressing like the locals isn’t about blending in perfectly. It’s about showing cultural respect.
It sends a message: “I see you. I value your norms. I want to be part of this place—not apart from it.”
Final Thoughts: Living with Heart and Humility
These are just a few ways we, as immigrants in Mexico, can show respect and truly integrate into this beautiful culture.
The more we embrace the local way of life—with humility, patience, and an open heart—the more warmly we’ll be welcomed.
And in that space of mutual respect, the real magic of Mexico unfolds: genuine connection.
Que tenga un bonito día,
Kerry Loeb
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